How rude! Incivility is costing business big time!
That’s the worst report I’ve ever seen! What were you thinking? You’d better shape up or you’re going to be out of a job!
Oh please, we tried that before and it was a disaster.
Did you hear what happened at that meeting? She went after his idea and tore it apart.
I had an appointment with him, but after 30 minutes waiting, he finally texted me that he had to cancel.
Does any of this sound familiar? Many of us have experienced:
- Managers or co-workers texting or emailing during a presentation
- Teasing that is hurtful to the recipient
- People who are consistently late for meetings or work
- Managers who take full credit for the work of their team
- Managers or co-workers who blame others for their own mistakes
Taken individually, these may seem like small things, but they build up and slowly take their toll. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Shouting, name-calling, door slamming and even throwing heavy objects is not as unusual as we’d like to believe. Talk to any group of employees and they can cite many more examples.
So what is incivility exactly?
Per Webster, incivility is “rude or unsociable speech or behavior; an impolite or offensive comment.” We pretty much know it when we see or feel it. And it can be different for each person, depending on social mores, age, gender, ethnicity, culture or any number of other individual perceptions. It can run from lack of social graces – failing to say please and thank you – to name-calling, yelling and denigrating people and their work. Left unchecked, incivility can turn into violent behavior.
In the past we were expected to “get over it and move on” or “not take it personally – you know how he/she is.” Try as we might, we were probably not able to do either. Maybe we could find a way to move forward, but chances are it always bothered us and changed our attitudes at work. Mostly we just kept it to our self. Worst case, we replicated the behavior as we moved up and became leaders ourselves. Either way, the result was negative for us and our team.
Sadly, this behavior in the workplace and society at large is not new. As bad as it has been in the past, incivility is on the rise and the results are becoming costly to individuals and business. The Harvard Business Review (HBR) has been tracking incivility for 14 years and found that “98% (of those interviewed) have reported uncivil behavior. In 2011 half said they were treated rudely at least once a week – up from a quarter in 1998.” The result – businesses are feeling the pinch in their bottom line.
HBR reported these hard statistics about workers who are on the receiving end of incivility:
- 48% intentionally decreased their work effort.
- 47% intentionally decreased their time spent at work.
- 38% intentionally decreased the quality of their work.
- 80% lost work time worrying about the incident.
- 63% lost work time avoiding the offender.
- 66% said that their performance declined.
- 78% said that their commitment to the organization declined.
- 12% said that they left their job because of the uncivil treatment.
- 25% admitted to taking their frustration out on customers.
When we see these statistics, we get a snapshot of what disengagement looks like. According to Gallup in the State of the American Workplace (2017), only 33% of employees are engaged. That leaves 16% who are actively disengaged, who can be sabotaging the workplace and spreading discontent and 51% of employees who are just slipping by under the radar. This is costing businesses up to $450 – $550 Billion per year in lost productivity.
Taking it down to individual businesses, Forbes, in ‘How Much Are Your Disengaged Employees Costing You?‘ (May 2019), estimates that lost productivity and higher absenteeism are costing approximately 34% of a disengaged employee’s salary. If a disengaged employee is making $50,000 annually, the cost to the company is $17,000. Yikes! That can add up quickly if half of the employees are disengaged. The impact of incivility on individuals puts a significant strain on managers, who themselves may be part of that 51%. A survey by Accountemps reported in Fortune magazine said that managers and executives spend up to 13% of their time on these issues. That’s 7 weeks of work per year! What business can afford that? It’s not just employees’ disengagement costing money. Customers will make decisions about buying even if they only observe employees being treated with disrespect. In her book, Mastering Civility – A Manifesto for the Workplace, Christine Porath wrote about a study she and her colleagues did where customers witnessed employees being treated badly. The research showed that regardless of why someone was treated with incivility, witnesses “did not approve of rudeness.” They were equally upset if they heard the exchange from behind closed doors. The participants in the experience “perceived the incivility as morally wrong, and they didn’t believe any person deserved to be treated badly.” Those customers also reported that they would choose not to do business with the company.
One of the most challenging aspects of incivility is that it is extremely contagious. People who have worked for a supervisor who demonstrates abusive, rude behavior are likely to model that same behavior as they move up the ladder. As it comes from and infects leaders, so it infects the entire culture or the organization. It becomes a behavior that is tolerated, emulated and expected. The result over time is lost profitability, decrease productivity, high turnover, loss of market share and brand quality. With that much at stake, we can’t allow it to persist.
Where to start? It all starts with our conversations.
- What are we saying?
- What do we sound like?
- What impact do we have?
- Are we willing to change?
Civility begins with us
As with any change, it starts with each one of us. Because leaders have significant influence, their behavior is essential in creating a civil workplace. While individuals must be committed to changing their conversations and attitudes, the organization must also tackle the culture. Here are some actions that can help turn things around:
Create a civility value statement and policy
The company value statement and policy clarify what civility and incivility mean for the organization. Without this, everyone can decide for themselves. It also creates the foundation to marshal the buy-in from senior management. The Value Statement is overarching and might be – We will treat the people in our organization, our customers and stakeholders with respect in every interaction. Developing the value statement with a diverse group – multi-generational, men and women, different ethnicities – adds power and commitment from the very beginning.
Conversational norms and protocols
We all need to understand what’s okay. Uncivil behavior may be an unconscious habit, so it is important to specify what is acceptable. Language or behaviors appropriate in a social setting, may not be suitable at work. Teasing among friends may be normal, but it can be hurtful at work. Yelling or threatening behavior is never okay in the workplace.
Some general protocols might be:
- Do not talk over other team members; give everyone a chance to be heard
- Shouting and cursing is never allowed
- Be present in conversations and meetings; no checking phones, email or texting
- Making faces or having sidebar conversations in meetings is unacceptable
- Say please and thank you
- The 10 – 5 rule: If you are 10 feet away from someone else – smile and make eye contact; if you are 5 feet away say hello.
The civility test from Christine Porath’s book ‘Master Civility – A Manifesto for the Workplace‘ is an excellent resource to think through the kinds of behaviors that may constitute incivility. The protocols for your organization will reflect the behaviors you agree are most important for your culture. This keeps everyone on the same page and accountable.
Hire for civility
Make civility a core competency. When interviewing candidates, create good questions that help you determine how they previously worked with others. Be sure to get referrals from both supervisors and peers. Be clear with the candidate about the conversation protocols and the expectation of civility in your organization. And, then let them consider if they are a good fit.
Teach civility
People may not have any idea what incivility is or that their behavior, both verbal and non-verbal, is not appropriate. Workshops and training on Emotional Intelligence, hidden bias, communication styles or other essential “soft” skills help everyone in the organization to develop deeper self-awareness and to learn communication skills that are more effective.
Reward good behavior
Experience shows us that rewarding the behavior we want produces more of that behavior. Let people know when they demonstrated a change in their behavior or exhibited acts of civility that support the cultural change. In short, when people act well, say so.
Penalize bad behavior
Star performer or not, sometimes repeat offenders must leave the organization. If there is no consequence for bad behavior, there will not be change. It’s easy to try to move the bad actor to another department, but the behavior will just infect another team. When the person is a high performer, organizations are hesitant to fire them, but the costs of lawsuits and the overall loss of productivity because of their behavior will outweigh their financial contribution.
A colleague of mine, Mark H. Fowler, talks about the One in Twenty Rule, which says that one employee can create disengagement, foment trouble or destroy the effectiveness of 20 people in an organization. We’ve all seen it happen. Tolerating one uncivil person in an organization can cause significant damage. Allowing incivility to become part of the culture is toxic. As a point of clarification, incivility is distinctly different than bullying and conflict. Bullying is intentional and focused on an individual. It is dangerous and can lead to acts of violence or the incidence of the suicide of victims. Conflict is about holding different opinions. Yes, we may be uncivil in the discussion of those opinions, but conflict handled with commitment and collaboration can result in better solutions and stronger relationships. Incivility doesn’t solve or strengthen anything; it debilitates and wears away at individuals and organizations.
When it comes to civility, Eleanor Roosevelt put it most clearly. “To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart.”
Incivility does not need to be the culture in your organization. It can change – civility is contagious – and starts with our conversations.
As a final thought – please consider becoming a champion of civility.
Thank you!
Noal McDonald